I really have too many blogging spots right now, and I'm not really keeping up that well on any of them.
I need to vent about what's going on with my pregnancy. It all feels so unfair and frustrating. Gestational diabetes has sent me for a real loop. I don't know what I'm doing and I resent having to do it. Dammit, this was supposed to be enjoyable. Memorable. Easy. There, I said it. I didn't expect it to be without bumps. But I thought I was pretty healthy and that this would be okay. Without too many hiccups. Not without frustration, but certainly not this hard. Why does it have to be this hard? Why does it have to be SO hard that I'm not sure we'll get to have a 2nd kid? Again, I shake my fist at the unfairness of it all.
I hate thinking about every single thing that goes into my mouth. I hate checking my blood sugar 4 times a day. I hate measuring my food amounts and worrying about combinations of things. I hate it.
And yet, I do it. For my son. Because that's what we do as moms. We sacrifice for our kids. And I do want to be a mom. I've always wanted to be a mom. I naively thought the ramp up to it would be a little less daunting.
And I don't know how to make this sound less like whining. I don't even know how to make it funny. I can't, because it's way too serious for me.
